For a woman who is moving into a new family leaving all her treasured ones behind, support and acceptance from the core of the heart are the two most important things that she expects from her new family, mostly from her mother-in-law.
You are a lovely mother who loves her son dearly; you have supported your son no matter what, now it is time for you to support your daughter-in-law because she is your daughter from now on. She isn’t just an addition to your family but also your heart and if you want to break the stereotypes then the first thing you have to do is accept her as your own.
Your son’s Wedding photo albums do not contain mere photos in them; they show you how lovingly you blessed the couple and showered all your love on them. The pictures are not just for show, the pictures are memories of something great that happened to you and your family as a whole.
You are the perfect lady! Your daughter-in-law will learn from you so why not set the right kind of example and always be the benevolent one, because you are after all a mother. Just reminding yourself of certain things can help you become the ideal mother of your son …
- Respect the individuality of your son. You must accept his choices and respect the one whom he loves so dearly. If you love him, make him understand that you approve of the relationship and want to move forward with it along with your son. If you feel she is not right for your son, don’t impose anything on him. Just let him know your feelings and let him decide. Always try to look at the bright sides. A person can’t be perfect so instead of focusing on all the imperfections try to admire all the perfections.
- Encourage your son to take a positive standpoint about married life. Tell him about all the good things that you have experienced in your marriage and are still experiencing. He knows that hardships are inevitable but don’t make them so prominent because he is already a little scared somewhere deep inside. Be supportive and tell him “son you’ve got this”. You must be honest with your child no matter what he asks you that will make him more practical and he can try and understand what to expect and what not to from his marriage.
- Try to be vocal about your feelings. If you feel you want to love your son, show your love do not keep yourself locked in a box (not literally!). If you are not comfortable, in being vocal, then write it down. Emotions are important and when you show them you are not making yourself vulnerable rather you are showing the tender motherly heart that you have. Tell him you are proud to have a son like him who has chosen such a good wife. If you expect something from him and his wife, do let them know it. They will appreciate your openness and honesty.
- You have something special for your son already right? So, hand him that. It can be anything a beautiful piece of heartfelt words written by you, or a piece of jewelry that you think he should gift it to his better half while proposing, it can be a poem or anything… but do something special that will touch his heart and will always remind him how much you love him.
- Yes! Go out with your daughter-in-law, spend quality time with her. Share secrets with her, show her that you love her and you have accepted her with all your heart and lastly be her friend not her mother-in-law. Don’t keep reservations in your heart; remember love has great powers that can transform people. If she is wrong somewhere, tell her but do not hurt her because hurting someone’s dignity and self-respect is not a very good thing to do so, you have to know where to stop.
- Don’t change yourself because there’s a new addition to the family. If you are a casual, happy-go-lucky person who loves to crack jokes, just do it, don’t stop yourself. If you are a strict person by nature don’t change that. Your daughter-in-law should love you the way you are just the bottom line is your actions and words should be flexible, kind and above all forgiving.
- You can help plan the wedding. Be upbeat about providing tips and showing encouragement, but do not be overbearing. Try to understand your daughter-in-law’s tastes and choices, this will help you in the future and never forget to compliment her because who doesn’t like compliments eh?
You are an amazing mom and you have everything sorted already. Just don’t panic, keep calm and things will be fine, all the best.
